Matt…

I’ve tried to start this post so many times. And every single time, I just end up crying so I stop writing. I tried talking out loud in the car about the things I wanted to tell you, and I cried. I tried writing it at work thinking I wouldn’t cry out of sheer embarrassment that someone would walk into my office, but I cried anyway. I tried just thinking about what to say, and I got all teary-eyed.

You always laugh at me & say that I cry at the drop of a hat. I cry when I’m happy or sad, angry or hurt. I cry during TV shows, movies and even when a commercial is just right. So it only seems natural that I get a little a lot weepy thinking about our perfectly imperfect wedding day… all the love & heart that went into the details, seeing our family & friends in one amazing place & hearing you promise to love me forever & only ignore me when then Redskins are on TV:)

Everyone says your first year of marriage is the hardest. I remember multiple people talking to me over the course of our engagement… I think everyone was worried because although we’d dated for 6 years, we had never lived together or been intimate. We were saving those special moments for marriage, so there was going to be a lot of change when we said I Do. I was both terrified and excited!! Living with a boy?! AH! I remember crying to my best friends about my fears of having to share a bathroom with you (because boys are dirty & messy), and getting so much (let’s face it, probably maybe TOO MUCH) advice on intimacy. I think in my head, I didn’t want to have really high expectations for marriage because I was afraid they wouldn’t be realistic. I knew I wanted to be your wife… I was just afraid of how that would actually look in our life: what does husband & wife mean for us? what changes will that bring? will I even be GOOD at it?!

I remember driving away from our reception and thinking “this is it”. Do you remember driving to DC that night? It kinda felt like a first date, didn’t it?! We talked about the wedding a little bit, but for the most part there was this anticipation, this fear, this excitement over that fact that we were, in fact, husband & wife. I’ll never ever forget laying on our hotel bed, pigging out on food from our reception at 2am. Remember that?! We had SO MUCH FUN!!!! We laughed & joked & loved & ate SO MUCH FOOD… I should have known that moment would set the tone for the rest of our lives:)

That’s what you do for me. You make me laugh when I want to cry. You make me laugh so hard I DO cry. You challenge me to be a better person and to strive to look to Jesus first before anything else. You joke with me (and you make jokes about me!). You teach me to laugh at myself, and to take a deep breath & stop planning every detail of life. You cook the best food I’ve ever had. (I don’t think I’ve ever ate so much in one year!!) You always support my dreams. And you love me… you love me through my ugly, disgusting sins; you love when I’m no where close to deserving it.

I won’t say the last year was easy, but it was by no means hard. Honestly, it was pretty much the best year of my life. And although we’re not the perfect husband & wife, and we mess up & fight & have to take deep breaths & count to 10… we’re always laughing & loving, just like we did on our wedding night.

You’re my favorite adventurer. You’re the person I want to be with forever. I love being your wife, Matt. I love living life with you. I can’t wait for our future.

Happy, happy anniversary!!!

Forever and ever babe,

kat