They don’t always tell you the truth, ya know? They don’t always tell you the nitty-gritty, the down-and-dirty, the late nights, early mornings, tears, stresses, and anxieties, that come with being a Boss Lady. It truly is a JOURNEY full so many highs & lows, friends.

I’ve learned so many things the hard way in the last 17 months, friends. I’ve learned what not to do, what to do, who I am and who I’m not. And while I learned a lot of lessons the hard way, I’m going to share a few with you today…

1. Do not expect a hand-out. Yes, there are people in this industry that are kind. People who genuinely care about you & want to help you succeed. But you cannot expect a hand-out. This industry, owning a business, it takes HARD WORK, friends. It will NOT come easy.

You have to come up with creative & wonderful ways to build trust & establish relationships. Brides will not automatically come knocking on your door. Vendors will not flood your inboxes. Your following will not automatically double in size. YOU have to work for it, friends!! Will it be worth it? Oh yes. But you will only see the fruit from your hard labor.

2. Celebrate every single “first”. Your first bride, your first feature, your first “no”, your first “ideal client”… I remember the first time I ever received a wholesale order of flowers delivered straight to my door. I dragged the box to my kitchen, opened it up & cried. My FIRST floral order!!!

I’ll never forget driving to my very first DSE wedding rehearsal. I was SO TERRIFIED, friends!! Matt was with me and I was snapping at him in the car & complaining about everything under the sun. My palms were sweaty, my heart was beating so fast & I remember thinking “oh my gosh is this REALLY happening?!”

When I received my very first blog feature, my parent’s sent me flowers. Matt took me out to dinner. And we CELEBRATED! Celebrate every single first, friends! SHOUT THEM from the rooftops!! REMEMBER the high you feel – that high, that “someone-pinch-me-is-this-real” feeling is what’s going to get you through the lows. It’s what’s going to push you on when working full time, growing a business, being married, and just doing simple tasks like laundry seem too hard.

3. You will learn the most about yourself through the defining moments. You will call your mom & cry in your car on your lunch break at your day job. You will cry to your husband when you get home from work at 5pm & have 4928010 things to do for your small business. There will be haters. There will be moments you absolutely want to quit. And how you handle those moments will DEFINE you.

There will be moments when you are an emotional wreck… you feel unprepared & unworthy. You aren’t. This dream, this big, beautiful dream, is worth it, friends! There’s no magical formula to success, so don’t believe that lie. Behind every working girl is a lot of hard, hard work. Every plan you make won’t work out, and you will face trials as you make this business a reality. But there is beauty in that, friends! I learned the MOST about myself & my business through those defining moments. I learned to STAND TALL in what I believe and who I am. I learned how to be the BEST version of myself. And I learned that even though those moments are incredibly hard, the end result is worth it.

4. Just because you’re new, does not mean you are a doormat. You may hear: “well, I’m doing you a favor by booking you when you’re new”. You may have vendors turn up their noses when you inquire or reach out. You may face adversity & you may have people not giving you enough credit because they think that being “new” makes you worthless. It doesn’t.

Being NEW does not mean that you can get walked all over – do.not.let.them. Being NEW does not mean that you are less worthy. Being NEW does not give anyone the right to treat you with anything less than kindness, courtesy & professionalism.

Because you ARE a professional. Yes, you’re still learning. And yes, your “following” and “bookings” might not match others, but you should NEVER be a doormat. You’re worth way more than that.

5. Unless your husband works in the industry, don’t expect him to fully “get it” … and that’s okay!! Oh, friends! This has been on my heart so much recently, and I’m planning to blog it in more detail soon. I can’t tell you how many times I would excitedly begin to tell Matt about a shoot and it would end with something like “wait, what’s the point of a styled shoot again?!”.:) Let’s face, we are CONSUMED with wedding this & wedding that… if you scroll through my feed it is FILLED with wedding creatives & wedding related posts!! But it’s not like that for him!!! I can’t expect him to be able to have a 2 hour conversation with me about unique & creative styling techniques… I’m laughing at the thought!!:)

I started thinking about it like this: He loves sports. He lives, breathes & sleeps football season. He can name the years the Redskins have been to the Superbowl, name the entire starting lineup & has scores and stats memorizes for every player on his fantasy team. It fires him up & I LOVE that!! But if he tried to have a really detailed conversation with me about it, my eyes would get glazed over & I would ask “silly” questions because I just don’t “get it”!! That’s how he is with the industry! I can’t tell you how many conversations have ended in frustration & tears in the last year because I’ve felt misunderstood. I had to take a step back & remind myself that his support for my business might not come in 2 hour brainstorming sessions; his support for my business comes in so many other, more meaningful ways… if I need him to carry furniture to the middle of a field or peel labels off lemons & limes, he might not full grasp the bigger picture, but he will sure as heck have my back:)

6. Wait for your Ideal Client. I’m still learning this one, friends. Luckily, I’ve been really, really blessed to have amazing brides come my way. But it’s not always pretty pink ribbons & perfectly styled wedding days. Some of it is just plain hard. Sometimes, it’s a tough fit. It’s like a round peg in a square hole. And it makes your work FEEL like work. And that just sucks.

I’m reminding myself over & over again that while I am a business & I do need to bring in income, booking clients that aren’t an ideal fit for DSE will make the entire process even harder for BOTH parties. I started this business because I LOVE it, and I want to feel fired up about every incredible DSE Bride! Remember that. Always.

7. You will never be able to do it alone. Find community. Reach out. Make friends. Share knowledge. Help one another grow.

You will crash & burn if you do not find women around you to build you up when you want to sink. You need them. They need you. We have to take each other’s hands & walk through the journey together. Late night group texts, tacos on the floor in a hotel room, tear-filled conversations over french fries & diet coke… you need those moments, friends. Community is what will get you through when you feel like you can’t make it… because they’re the ones who will remind you that you WILL.

 

xo!! kat