It still feels very surreal to be writing this post.
I feel like I’ve written it multiple times in my head and imagined a moment where we’d get to tell our family & friends with JOY that …
we are having a BABY!
Praise the Lord that the day has finally arrived for us!:)
I’m sure so many of you have questions about this little one, so I thought I’d answer a few below:
- How far along are you? I’ll be 13 weeks on Monday! Our due date is Memorial Day – May 28, 2018. Bring the hamburgers, hotdogs & a BABY!! (What’s REALLY fun is that my brother gets married in June!! So much excitement this spring!)
- When did you find out? I actually found out when I was very early along – only 3.5 weeks. In the entire 19 months of our journey to begin a family, I have only taken an early detection pregnancy test twice. This just so happened to be one of those times. Some of you may call it “mother’s intuition” but I’m chalking it all up to the Holy Spirit. I just KNEW I was pregnant, y’all. (And – because I didn’t want to jinx it – when I bought the test I also bought a box of tampons, ha!)
- How did you tell Matt? Our story is jaded. That’s the real, hard truth of the matter. And to be honest, I didn’t realize how much I desperately wanted a “NORMAL” pregnancy until this baby. I mourned the fact that I didn’t get to tell him – or our families – in a fun, exciting way. Instead, I walked out of the bathroom with tears of both fear & excitement in my eyes, 2 pregnancy tests in my hand. We didn’t immediately burst into joy or call our family/friends excitedly. Instead, we both felt a bit of apprehension. “Would this finally be it? Would this little life finally be the one we’d get to meet?” I’d be lying if I said those first few weeks weren’t some of the hardest on my heart, and I plan to share more about that in a later post.
- How did you feel telling Matt + family/friends because of the miscarriages? I realized early on how much I would mourn not having a “normal” pregnancy because as soon as we told our family/friends, their response was much like ours. “What if there’s another miscarriage? Should we start talking about the baby or act like he/she isn’t there until we know for sure?” I understand exactly why they responded in that way (and I think I would have done the same if I were in their shoes!); but I found it made me angry at our situation … frustrated with our story … annoyed with the world. I didn’t want to be afraid; and I didn’t want my family/friends to hesitantly bring up this baby. There were a lot of tears shed – and a lot of real talk with my mama & close friends – in those early days. And fortunately, the Lord began to show me joy in OUR journey and OUR normal, and for that I am so grateful.
- So, what are the chances of another miscarriage? What does the doctor think? Y’all. I have seen the Lord at work since the very minute this baby was made known to us. Let me get really, really Jesus-y for a minute: over the past 19 months, I have had some of the darkest days of my life. Losing our first two babies + my Papaw & my Mamaw has almost been too much to bear. There have been so many times where I have literally had no words to pray. None. So I just didn’t. I found strength knowing that others were praying on my behalf… but I couldn’t find the words myself. It wasn’t until August that the Holy Spirit began to show me what to pray. I began to fall in love with Jesus again, and found a sense of hope I’d been missing so much. In September, we conceived this sweet baby & I know that the Lord put this baby on my heart as soon as he/she was formed, which led me to take a test so early. Because I took a test so early, I was able to start proactively protecting this baby. I’ve been taking 2 doses of progesterone + 1 dose baby aspirin every day since I was 3.5 weeks pregnant. (That’s AMAZING, y’all!) We had a terrible scare at 6.5 weeks (where I was when we miscarried our first), yet it ended up being the best thing that could have happened to us (yes, I said that!)! First of all, I was so, so anxious about our first ultrasound (scheduled at the 8 week mark). Going in at 6.5 weeks due to bleeding was terrifying, yet our new doctor’s office (we switched since our miscarriages) was UNBELIEVABLE & it immediately eased my/our anxiety. They were so caring & kind yet also very informative, which I appreciate. And, amazingly, at just 6.5 weeks we saw our sweet baby’s heartbeat. <3 It was such an emotional experience for us because it was the very first time we’ve received GOOD news at an ultrasound appointment!! We’ve since gone back twice (8 weeks & 12 weeks) and our OB is so encouraged by how this baby is developing. We know that there is always a chance of miscarriage, but feel hopeful with our current care plus the fact the we’ve never made it to this point in a pregnancy before. We pray daily for the safety of this little one & that we’ll be holding him/her in May!
- Are you going to find out the gender? You bet we are!!:) We’re both so excited to know if she’ll be decked out in all the pink things or if he’s a future Redskins football player! I’m feeling like she’s a “she”, and while Matt would LOVE a girl, he’s saying it’s a boy (but that could be just to debate with me, ha!). We’ll know for sure in a few weeks! Yay!
- Do you have name(s) picked out? Yes! But no, we won’t be sharing publicly until this little one arrives! Some things we want to keep just between us!:)
- How are you feeling physically? My first symptom was exhaustion (Hello 8pm bedtime + daytime naps!), followed very closely by nausea. “Morning sickness” is definitely misleading since for me it’s “Afternoon-Evening Sickness”. I’ve had it on & off until week 9 and then 9-12 were pretty rough. Heartburn has also been R E A L, y’all. Honestly this is probably the worst pregnancy symptom of all! I eat Tums like candy (don’t worry, I don’t exceed the pregnancy limit!!) because it wakes me up, keeps me up & has pretty much happened non-stop in my life since 9 weeks. I’m looking forward to being allowed to take something stronger when my second trimester arrives.
- Any cravings or aversions? As far as cravings go, I drink orange juice by the gallon & have since the beginning!! Let’s just say I’m definitely getting enough Vitamin C!!:) I also LOVE triscuits and hamburgers & fries (specifically McDonald’s – don’t judge!). I found that lemonade & sour apples help with the nausea (as well as eating small meals every 3-4 hours!) so that’s a new part of my daily routine, too! Aversions? I used to drink a cup of coffee with lots of cream every morning & now I have NO desire to drink it!! The smell doesn’t bother me, but the thought of DRINKING it makes me want to gag. Same goes for Diet Dr Pepper or any soda for that matter. It’s a travesty, y’all! You know I love my DDP!! But I tried to drink it and wanted to be sick, so we’re not going there again!!! (It’s a good thing I’m not craving caffeine, but I do hope my love for it comes back later!)
- What’s next?! Well, we’ll be finding out the GENDER of this sweet baby in December & as you can imagine, we can’t WAIT to know!! We’ll also keep researching all the baby things (this book has been a life-saver, y’all!). I’m definitely being my typical Type-A self and having a lot of fun (plus finding a lot of security) in researching what we need & formulating a game plan for this little one. I’m sure I’ll have questions on FB & IG as we get the nursery ready & register … we’re pretty clueless over here!!:)
Thank you for sharing in our joy!!
Thank you for praying for our journey & encouraging us along the way! While we don’t know for certain, we feel hopeful & at peace with God’s plan for our family. I plan to post monthly with all the fun (and not so fun!) pregnancy updates, plus questions I’m sure we’ll have! Here’s to meeting Baby Schmo in May 2018!!
xo! kat, matt & baby!