The Pretty

It’s so, so easy to get wrapped up in all the pretty a wedding holds.

Planning a wedding involves a lot of pretty ideas, pretty Pinterest boards, finding a pretty dress & praying for pretty weather…

So brides are quickly consumed in a world of pretty this & pretty that.

Don’t get me wrong – that’s pretty great (see what I did there, ha!) … but there is SO much more to a wedding than just the pretty.

For brides, the “so much more” I’m talking about is the END result of the wedding – you know, being a WIFE. (And, obviously, for grooms, it’s being a HUSBAND.)

When I was engaged, I had a really mean person tell me that I cared too much about the wedding and not enough about my almost-husband, that I should spend more time figuring out how to be a good wife than what the reception mantle décor should be and that my marriage would probably fail.

Yep, that’s a true story.

It literally BROKE me, y’all. I cried A LOT. And, I was left overanalyzing myself & my motives A LOT.

I reevaluated just WHY I cared about the details, the mantle, the dress, the pretty. And, although I would never wish ANY bride to hear what that woman said to me, I really did learn a lot from her cynicism. See, after a lot of heart-to-hearts with a myself, I realized this…

Wedding Day isn’t just ONE day. It’s not just 24 hours of your life. It’s YEARS of dreaming, MONTHS of planning & a lot of love bottled up into one perfect day. Why do little girls play Wedding Day? Why do big girl stay up until 1am pinning away? Because we believe in a love that lasts a lifetime… a love that does not boast, a love that is patient & kind; a love that is never evil and is, without a doubt, sacrificial. We believe in a fairytale because in our heart of hearts, we were designed for relationships. For love.

Remember that Friends episode when Ross is going to marry Emily (but ends up saying Rachel’s name in the ceremony?). Well before he screws up the names, remember when they get to London to find that her dream venue is literally torn down. Gone. There’s no roof, barely any walls & piles upon piles of bricks. Emily is HEARTBROKEN. She’d spent her entire life planning her wedding in this very venue. Monica makes the comment: “Just postpone the wedding;this is your DREAM. Postpone the wedding & make your dream happen.”

Y’all, Ross is furious. He doesn’t understand. “Just find a new venue” he bellows.

And Emily is crushed. Her entire life she wanted that venue, that moment with her groom.

Does that make her a bad person?? Do we judge her for that? For wanting her dream to come true?

She loves Ross… she doesn’t want to just marry anybody in that venue, she wants to marry HIM. But part of that dream is having a guy who understands how IMPORTANT the pretty is. Ross could’ve care less about the pretty. He wasn’t spending his nights crafting favors with friends, or dreaming of the perfect gown. But, what he DID come to understand, is that the pretty meant a lot to Emily. And, because he loved her, it meant a lot to him too. He ends up creating this beautiful, romantic & intimate ceremony in the ruins of the church. Not because HE cared if they got married there, but because she did SO much that he wanted to give that dream to her.

Matt could’ve cared less what our centerpieces looked like, or what style of chairs we used. But he listened to me go on & on about little details because it made me happy. And, God love him for it 🙂

Before I was a wife, the thought of being a wife made me terrified and excited all at the same time; it made me fearful, encouraged and just plain happy. Being HIS wife was why I wanted to get married anyway. Who else would I pledge my life to but him? Who else would love me at my worst & encourage me to be my best? Saying “yes” to the Question was the EASIEST answer I have ever made in my entire life. And NOT because I finally got to plan a pretty wedding, but because I would have HIM, forever. My life would be entwined with his, and I couldn’t wait. Planning the pretty wedding was just a really, really awesome bonus.

Yes, I cared about the details. I was THAT girl who played Wedding Day with a pillow case draped over the back of my head & my doll babies as guests. I dreamed of a cake & linens & music & invitations. I wanted it all. When I started dating Matt I was 18 years old. And the Wedding Day dream I’d had since I was 5 shifted a bit. Sure, I still wanted the cake & music & invitations… but I wanted HIM more. Suddenly all those details started to reflect who WE were as a couple, and I couldn’t image anything else.

I love getting to know my couples for this very reason. Because planning a wedding is more than just the pretty; the pretty just accentuates what’s already there. Because the marriage is, truly, the most important detail and it’s my job to manage everything else so that focusing on the marriage, on the real meaning for the day, is effortless for the B&G. I LOVE hearing my couples stories. Listening to their silly banter; getting to know them on Instagram. Really become FRIENDS with them. It makes my job so, so much fun. And I’m reminded over and over again of the beauty of marriage… with a dream day to start off your life together with a bang.

xo, kat

(( Photo credit: Katelyn James Photography ))