This week has been a tough one. Just one of those weeks where all these little things happen, you have some *big* conversations with your husband, the Lord reveals a TON of ugly sin in your life… and you just cry, a lot.

Ugh. Sometimes being emotional is my LEAST favorite character trait!! I cry during movies, a great book, and every single one of those sad doggy commercials. I cry when I’m happy, sad or even angry! So, of course, this week was full of ugly tears.

I feel like the month of February FLEW by, too. It was so busy, and just full of so much STUFF … that I didn’t really get a chance to catch my breath. And when I’m exhausted, everything just seems worse.

I’m not saying this for pity. And I hope all my brides out there aren’t thinking I’m being horribly unorganized right now, ha! But when I started this blog I started it with an air of transparency. I want to be REAL with you… to tell you how it REALLY is… no stylized life here.

This month I feel like the Lord revealed a lot to me about how I am as a wife, which was one of my reasons for writing this post. He’s also revealing the idols in my life. I started doing the Contentment Challenge because of my shopping idol & my constant need to have more. And I think He’s still continuing to break me. In fact, I KNOW He’s still breaking me of that, really teaching me what He wants me to learn… and it’s been hard. And, I really, really think that because of walking through this contentment challenge… He’s showing me OTHER areas of my life that need a little more Him, and lot less me.

Another area He’s revealing to me? My life as a business owner: what that looks like, how it affects me, how it affects my family, how to balance it all, etc… I’m learning about the idols I have in my business, too. And that, my friends, has been really, really hard. AKA I’ve had quite a few ugly cries.

I tend to tell the Lord – “You can have ___ but not ____.” In fact, I tell Him that all the time. But that’s a lie. God can’t do ANYTHING with me if I don’t give Him ALL of me. The same goes for my business. I want my business to bring glory to Him. I want to touch people, reach out to people, build community & relationships with people. And I can’t do that if I tight-fist things with God.

Tuesday night was one of those huge “light bulb” moments for me. And I think I’ve spent the rest of the week in a bit of a haze, processing everything I realized. So it was really funny (one of those God-things) when on Wednesday, I read this amazing post. And then on Thursday I read this amazing post. And I thought, “Okay God, I get it.” Sometimes you DO have to be broken, in order to be made new. And I’m SO stubborn, y’all!! And God knows with my hard-heart, He has to drive the point home several times before I’ll actually listen.

When I wrote this post, I talked about how it was all Jesus. HE has been the provider for my business. HE is the reason I’ve been able to start DSE & make it happen. It’s all Him. That, friends, is a fact I never, EVER want to forget. So it’s really encouraging to look back at the last few months and see Him working in my life – shaping me, breaking me, molding me.

I know 2014 has a lot a BIG, HUGE God-things in store… not only is it my first year as a wife & a business owner, but He’s doing a lot with my heart, too. I’m learning more of what it REALLY means to call yourself a Christian, & how to proclaim the Gospel in my life, in my marriage, in my business. It’s truly amazing what He’s done the last 2 months… I can’t wait to see how the next 10 go!

AND, because I planning to announce something really awesome today, but got sidetracked with all this deep-stuff…make sure you come back Monday, okay? I’ve got BIG news that I’m so, SO excited about!!

xo! kat

(( DSE Flowers captured by Bulloss Photography ))